My tweens makeup: Rock that hot pink girl

Makeup. That amazing and frustrating thing that makes some people look like goddesses, and others incompetent clowns (and I've fallen in the latter more times than I'd like to admit). Right before I gave birth to my second child (and had the realization that I am only 3 short years away from 30), I got hit with one of those, "It's time to grow up and learn how to use this stuff" moments, and I put in a rather large order to e.l.f. cosmetics with the idea that I'd teach myself how to become an expert. Well, THAT didn't happen, but I did suddenly discover a love of lipstick. I went from 0 to 15+ colors in no time flat!

My sudden interest in makeup caught the attention of my pre-teen step daughter, whom has already developed a love of the stuff (and was ecstatic when my order came and I told her she could have a lipstick I didn't like). She'd asked me on multiple occasions before I decided to become a "makeup guru" if we could do makeovers as a way of spending time with each other. I always said no, because, well, you can't very well put eye-shadow on someone when you don't own any. All the different aspects of makeup fascinate her, and she loves playing with all the brushes and colors. I'm pretty positive someday she will end up being the expert I will never be.

Today was one of those days where she asked to play with my makeup. I've been letting her use primarily eye-shadows and blushes when I allow her to use it, and I instantly become that "cool mom" when her friend comes over and I let the two of them do up their faces (I was super cool that time I let them play in my heels). Not having much experience with makeup yet, she made her brows far too dark, and I sat with her cleaning it up and explained to her how less is more. I then left her to do her eye-shadow however she pleased. She has a love of BRIGHT colors, and when she came around the corner, pleased with her work and seeking my approval, I was taken back to the early 90's. She was wearing a bright pink lipstick that I bought her which she wears almost daily, and an eye-shadow that was almost the exact same shade. My first reaction was one of surprise and "Oh my.", even as I gave her the thumbs up. My second was actually one of pleasure. Pleasure that the way she had done her makeup seemed so young and carefree.

In today's society there is pressure at such a young age to look a certain way (Kardashian's, Ariana Grande, or Iggy Azalia [or however you spell her name] anyone?), act a certain way, present yourself a certain way. I've often been shocked and appalled when my step daughter has come home from school. telling me how the girls picked on her because her chest is too flat, she's not what they consider stylish (which really took me by surprise as the school she attended required uniforms, how stylish can those get?), that she's doesn't have what it takes to be popular, etc. The fact that 10 and 11 year olds are discussing the size of their breasts and that they find it perfectly acceptable says something about the nature of our society. We sexualize our girls at such young ages, and teach them that their worth lies in how desirable and attractive they are, and how close they come to representing societies idea of beauty. This isn't the sin of just this generation, a woman's worth has always been weighed by how desirable she is to a man. However with social media and sexualized messages being constantly crammed down the throats of our young women, the pressure to conform to what society thinks a girl/woman should be seems to be worse than ever, even as people take up the mantle to fight these messages and change how a women's worth is found.

I try to lead by example for my step daughter by not putting myself down or equating my importance/worth with how I look, but I know there are times I fail, and my example is only a drop in an ocean of voices she hears on a daily basis telling her how to judge her worth. I ache for her when she comes to me in tears because someone has yet again taken a chunk out of her wall of confidence, because they felt they had the right to judge her worth. Her worth, and the worth of every human being is NOT found in their appearance, but in their personality, their mind, and their heart.

So you rock that hot pink girl. You express yourself with all those bright shades and revel in the joy you feel in all those fun colors. Don't ever let anyone tear you down because you aren't following the latest fashions or beauty trends, because those trends will fade and die, while your beauty will only continue to grow and shine.

Teal eye-liner anyone?

When you're a mom because you have to be, not because you feel you CAN be

Hey blogger,

Remember in that last blog post where I said I was really bad about keeping my blogs updated? I meant it.

That baby we said we were leaving up to God's plan? God decided that month that we should have another baby, and I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with my second son.

My first child is going to be a year old on the 2nd of April, and already the tantrums have begun. He's still mostly a little angel, but when he has bad days, he has BAD days. I was trying to clean up my house today (something that I have been really lacking on, see above about being 30 weeks pregnant) in preparation for getting our rental home re-carpeted this week (my father, the landlord, wants new carpet installed before the new baby gets here) and it felt as if for every minute of cleaning, there was ten minutes of tantrums and cuddling that needed to happen before I was able to continue with whatever it was I was doing. My son can now stand with the assistance of objects, and one of his favorite objects is his mommy's legs, especially when he's on a little rampage and wants attention NOW. I cannot tell you how many times this kids has almost accidentally pulled my pants down (one time he actually succeeded).

I was just losing all patience with him today, and then getting annoyed at myself for it and feeling like a failure. He's one, he doesn't REALLY know what he's doing. He's learning and testing boundaries, that is what little people do. I just felt so ill equipped all day to deal with him, and all I could keep thinking was, "My God, and in just about two more months I'm going to have a newborn to take care of as well. How am I going to do it without having a complete and total mental/physical/emotional breakdown?!"

I was a mom tonight because I had to be, not because I felt like I could be. I felt like a failure. I didn't know what my son wanted/needed, and he's too young to tell me. One minute all he wanted was to be held, the next he desperately wanted on the floor, but as soon as his feet touched the ground he was crying again. It doesn't help that he's teething as well (his 7th, 8th, and I think 9th teeth are coming in). He's struggling and learning right along with me, and logically I know I can't have all the answers and magically understand what's going on in that tiny little brain of his, but I feel like I should.

I really shouldn't even be on here right now. I haven't eaten any dinner, I have the remains of my son's dinner to pick up from the floor (half a bagel with cream cheese and yogurt melts, I didn't have the energy to try for anything else, plus I haven't gone shopping this week), and I still have hours of housework ahead of me. I just really felt like I needed a moment to "write it out" though, and I do feel guilt about not keeping up with my blog (among other things). I think if I found time to write just a little bit every week, it would help me feel a little better. I know there are lots of moms out there that struggle just like I do, I'm not special in that regard. But maybe some mom will stumble across my words and feel just a little bit better and a little less alone knowing that it's not just them.

Well, I should go find some dinner (likely a bowl of cereal) and get back to work. Part of me wants to say "fudge it" and just wake up really early tomorrow before work and try to get some more work done, but I know me, and that's a bad idea.

~ Lady A

Hello Again

Wow, it's been over a year since I've been on here. I've always been horrible about keeping my blogs alive....

Well, my husband and I now have 5 month old son that the entire family adores. I'm listening to him talk to the little bears on his mobile above his swing as I type. He's a complete joy, and just an amazing baby. He sleeps through the night and usually has a smile on his face. He's so good in fact that I'm afraid it's all just a ploy and as soon as he hits the 2 year mark he will turn into the spawn of Satan. It's probably a trick on God's part to get my husband and I to have another baby. Maybe that baby will cause me to pull my hair out?

Speaking of another baby, my husband and I have decided to rely on Gods will, and I'm not taking my next set of Birth Control pills. Halfway through my last pack, I just REALLY didn't want to take them, and today I should have started the next pack and I just couldn't find the will to start it. My husband and I had a talk, and he's all for having another baby already (see above, our son is practically a saint, it's weird), so we will see if another child is what God has in store for us.

My other children (step-children) now go to their mothers every other weekend, with them likely beginning to go every other week sometime at the end of this year or next, so it would just be the baby and I every other week anyway. I think I can manage another little one thrown into the mix, I'm more concerned about the sitters than anything else. It's one thing for me to watch two little babies (my son of course will be over a year by the time the next one arrives), it's another for someone else to have to do it. I'm blessed that I have family willing to step in take care of him while my husband and I are at work.

I'm sure others will find my husband and I insane, that we are thinking about trying to have another baby while our son is so young, but we just feel it's time. I've been debating it for a while, and my husband has been hinting at wanting to have another baby. The next baby will be a little princess if you believe in the old wives tale of a ring on a string predicting the sex of your children. So we would have a little prince and princess.

I should really try to get on here at least once a week to update this blog, whether it be a recipe review of just the daily trappings of life. For now though, I'm going to go pay attention to my smiling little boy, who is looking at me with so much love in his precious little eyes

Recipe: Crack Potatoes

You'll have to forgive the lack of picture for this one. I seem to be having trouble getting blogger to upload one.

Anyways, yes, crack potatoes. I found the original recipe here. My family loved it, so I'm sharing it with all of you!

This is incredibly simple, fairly cheap for the amount it makes, and I think would make a great thing (and quick!) item to bring along to a get together with friends. This made two 9-inch round pans, so I froze one (I double bagged it in freezer bags to try and avoid any freezer burn) and cooked up the other. It had a lot of flavor, and if you like ranch dip, this is DEFINITELY for you.

You will need a BIG bowl. I'm serious. I mixed this up in my 4 quart Pyrex dish, and it almost wasn't big enough to contain it. As it is, a little bit of mix and sour cream spilled over the side (I may have been mixing it a tad too enthusiastically with the spatula, but that's beside the point....). Oh, and it may have helped if I'd followed the recipe creators instructions. She does say to mix the first four ingredients first, THEN add the hash browns. I missed that part....

Anyway! You need:

- 2 (16oz) containers of sour cream (I used KRAFT Simply Natural. I like that taste, and I get it for a good price)
- 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
- 2 (3oz) bags real bacon bits (I get the Oscar Myer brand)
- 2 packages Ranch Dip (OR! I discovered this the other day. You can get a big container of the ranch seasoning! I've been using a lot of ranch dip lately, and it's much more cost effective for me to get the big bottle. It tells you on the back how many tablespoons equals one packet of ranch dip)
- 1 large (28 - 30oz) bag frozen shredded hash browns.

So, now you're going to grab your big bowl and trusty spatula (or favorite mixing spoon, whatever makes you happy) and be far more intelligent that I was and mix the first four ingredients first, instead of dumping them all on top of the wad of frozen hash browns. Once you've mixed those first four items together pretty well, top it with the hash browns and mix until well combined. If you plan on cooking all of it at once, place it is a 9 x 13 dish and bake at 400 degrees for about 50 minutes. If your not planning on it, break it apart into smaller portions and freeze whatever you're not using for another day. You'll need to adjust your cooking time for the smaller pans, but not by much. I believe I cooked it in the 9-inch round for about 40 minutes. Basically until it is heated through and the cheese is melted.

And there you have it! A delicious side dish that tastes like (to quote my son) "heaven". My husband absolutely loved them, and my daughter said she could eat them all day. Thanks Pinterest!



~ Lady A

Talking with a Step-parent: Just don't say it!

Being a step parent can be hard enough without the (sometimes) well intentioned comments from other people. While I think most people mean well, there are some things that are said that can be really hurtful. Below are two that I have run into that I feel the need to get off my chest. Please feel free to share your "Just don't say it" experiences in the comment section below.

Just don't say it: "Of course they're going to fight you! Pick and choose your battles! They aren't yours!"

Alright, so this one is a little tricky. Yes, there are some children that just outright hate the step-parent and will defy them no matter the situation. However, sometimes kids are just being rotten kids. I've know parents whose biological children are little hellions and won't listen to a thing they say. Telling a step-parent that a child is obviously going to fight them because they are not the blood parent is really disheartening. Instead of basically telling the step-parent they're screwed, offer some words of encouragement. We know good and well that we aren't the child's actual mother or father, and we are doing the best we can. I'd much rather have someone tell me to keep my chin up instead of reminding me I'm not their mother and hey, why should they listen to me anyway?

And as far as picking and choosing battles. Well, dammit, that's the easy way out, and it's not good for the children. Parent's need to be consistent. I know it sucks when it feels like you are having to get on your children for every little thing, but sometimes it has to happen. Kids need consistency in discipline. They don't need to grow up knowing their parents will let them get away with certain things because, "Mommy and Daddy just don't want to deal with it.", and that kind of attitude certainly won't earn you any rewards from the people that now have to deal with the children you've raised.

Just don't say it: "It's different because they aren't yours." or "You'll understand when you have one of your own."

To be honest, this is the one that really pisses me off. One of the most hurtful things you can say to a loving step-parent is that because the child is not their biological child, the parent just "won't get it", "won't appreciate it", or will "feel differently about it" once they have a child of their own, when it comes to one situation or another. I love my children. I would do anything for them. Just because I did not give birth to them does not mean I would not lay down my life for them or do what I could to secure their happiness. The fact that I did not give birth to them, and therefor the children are not "my blood" does not do anything to change how I feel for them. I know people who would lay down their lives for a friend, but who if their sibling was on fire and they had a bottle of water, they would drink it rather than help "their blood.". Blood to me means nothing. I was raised with a half-brother and an adopted sister, and guess what? They are my brother and my sister. Whether or not they share some or none of my blood does nothing to change my feelings for them. My children are my children. End of story.


Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now. The phrases above are two that I have run into a LOT since I got married, and I've been married less than two months! It can be really discouraging to have people who don't know you, your children, or your situation basically tell you how you should be living your life and what you should be doing. It makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and start running around the room screaming, "You don't know me! You don't know my life! BLAH!" and make a bee-line for the nearest exit. Because, well, honestly... they don't.



~ Lady A

Recipe: Chicken Doritos Casserole

I made this tonight, and Oh. My. Gosh. This is GOOD! There is just a little bit of a kick from the Ro-Tel tomatoes, and the Doritos still maintain a bit of a crunch. I found the recipe on Pinterest, and you can find the link to the original recipe here. Both of my kids really enjoyed it (I blew the rating scale up apparently, haha). I haven't gotten my husbands opinion yet, but I'm positive it will be, well... positive :)

I doubled the original recipe as it is only supposed to serve 4, and I like making sure I have leftovers for lunch the next day. So the amounts you see below are for the double batch I cooked.

Ingredients:

- 4 cups shredded chicken (I had cooked it in the crock pot the day before to save myself time)
- 4 cups shredded Mexican cheese, separated (2 cups for the chicken mixture, 2 cups for the top)
- 2 (10 ounce) cans cream of chicken soup (I used Wal-Mart brand because it's slightly cheaper than Campbell's, and I don't notice a taste difference)
- 1 cup of milk
- 1 cup of sour cream
- 2 (10 ounce) cans Ro-Tel tomatoes (I used mild)
- 1 packet of taco seasoning (I used McCormick, the taste you can trust!)
- 1 large bag of Doritos (grab the party size!)

Directions:

Turn on the oven to 350 degrees and let it get good and hot. In the mean time, add the chicken, 2 cups of cheese, cream of chicken soup, milk, sour cream, Ro-Tel tomatoes, and taco seasoning together in a large bowl and mix well.

Grease a 9x13 pan (PAM is your friend!). Grab that bag of Dorito's and take out your mommy frustrations by crushing up those chips! Then place a layer on the bottom of the pan. Top with half of the chicken mixture, another layer of Doritos, the other half of the chicken mixture, and then top it off with the rest of the Doritos and the other 2 cups of cheese.

Now you'll need to cover the pan with foil. I suggest tenting it a bit, so you don't end up with a cheesy mess stuck to the top like I did. Pop it in the over and cook it for about a half hour, or until the casserole is nice and hot.

I ate it straight, but feel free to top it with sour cream, lettuce, or fresh tomato. My son smothered it in Del Taco hot sauce (yes, I save the packets, that stuff is freaking delicious).

ENJOY!

Listening Ears: Say what?

I'm not sure whose responsibility it was when my children were being created to install their listening ears, but I'm pretty sure they all got a faulty set, and I want something done about it.

What is it that causes kids to just tune out whatever it is you say? This morning I found out that my husband had had to confiscate my sons "ball-e" the other night (this is also his third strike*, so guess who ball-e belongs to now?), for something the children have been told dozens of times not to do and have gotten in trouble for multiple times... tossing the ball in the house.

I don't consider myself an unreasonable parent. Kids need to play and burn off steam, and I completely understand that. Even though sometimes it makes me want to scream and turn into Angelica Houston from "Witches", I let them rough house and yell and just generally have a good old time making the loudest (and at times most disgusting) noises they can manage. I even let them play with "ball-e" in the house, under one condition: BALL-E IS NOT TO BE THROWN/TOSSED/HURLED AT A THOUSAND MILES AN HOUR TOWARDS A PERSON OR OBJECT. So basically, just roll ball-e around, and everything is snazzy. Wanting to throw ball-e is perfectly fine, but for goodness sake kids, do it outside! What do you think the back yard is for?

Apparently not for tossing ball-e around, at least according to my kids. Why go outside in the sunshine and fresh air, when you can be in an air-conditioned house and hope mom or dad doesn't catch you? Oh, they tried to be smarter this time, they weren't tossing ball-e around in the main areas of the house you see, oh no... they'd escaped to my sons bedroom and closed the door. Guess it didn't occur to them that a ball makes noise when it hits a wall/object/very vocal person. I really believe if they had a working set of listening ears, they would have figured that out.

So, dear whoever you are that is in charge of the listening ears department, I have a request. I don't want to get anyone in trouble, and I'm sure you're employees work very hard, but someone is slipping up and installing faulty mechanics. If you could somehow find it in the goodness of your heart to install some new or better quality listening ears on my children (their bedtime is at 9, so you can stop by anytime after they've fallen asleep. I'm sure the ears are much easier to install if the child isn't squirming) I'd really appreciate it. You can imagine my frustration at having to repeat the same rules over and over due to a set of faulty hardware.

Ever yours,

~Lady A


*In our house, we have a "three strikes" rule. If I have to take a toy away three times, it's now MY toy. Yay toys!