My tweens makeup: Rock that hot pink girl

Makeup. That amazing and frustrating thing that makes some people look like goddesses, and others incompetent clowns (and I've fallen in the latter more times than I'd like to admit). Right before I gave birth to my second child (and had the realization that I am only 3 short years away from 30), I got hit with one of those, "It's time to grow up and learn how to use this stuff" moments, and I put in a rather large order to e.l.f. cosmetics with the idea that I'd teach myself how to become an expert. Well, THAT didn't happen, but I did suddenly discover a love of lipstick. I went from 0 to 15+ colors in no time flat!

My sudden interest in makeup caught the attention of my pre-teen step daughter, whom has already developed a love of the stuff (and was ecstatic when my order came and I told her she could have a lipstick I didn't like). She'd asked me on multiple occasions before I decided to become a "makeup guru" if we could do makeovers as a way of spending time with each other. I always said no, because, well, you can't very well put eye-shadow on someone when you don't own any. All the different aspects of makeup fascinate her, and she loves playing with all the brushes and colors. I'm pretty positive someday she will end up being the expert I will never be.

Today was one of those days where she asked to play with my makeup. I've been letting her use primarily eye-shadows and blushes when I allow her to use it, and I instantly become that "cool mom" when her friend comes over and I let the two of them do up their faces (I was super cool that time I let them play in my heels). Not having much experience with makeup yet, she made her brows far too dark, and I sat with her cleaning it up and explained to her how less is more. I then left her to do her eye-shadow however she pleased. She has a love of BRIGHT colors, and when she came around the corner, pleased with her work and seeking my approval, I was taken back to the early 90's. She was wearing a bright pink lipstick that I bought her which she wears almost daily, and an eye-shadow that was almost the exact same shade. My first reaction was one of surprise and "Oh my.", even as I gave her the thumbs up. My second was actually one of pleasure. Pleasure that the way she had done her makeup seemed so young and carefree.

In today's society there is pressure at such a young age to look a certain way (Kardashian's, Ariana Grande, or Iggy Azalia [or however you spell her name] anyone?), act a certain way, present yourself a certain way. I've often been shocked and appalled when my step daughter has come home from school. telling me how the girls picked on her because her chest is too flat, she's not what they consider stylish (which really took me by surprise as the school she attended required uniforms, how stylish can those get?), that she's doesn't have what it takes to be popular, etc. The fact that 10 and 11 year olds are discussing the size of their breasts and that they find it perfectly acceptable says something about the nature of our society. We sexualize our girls at such young ages, and teach them that their worth lies in how desirable and attractive they are, and how close they come to representing societies idea of beauty. This isn't the sin of just this generation, a woman's worth has always been weighed by how desirable she is to a man. However with social media and sexualized messages being constantly crammed down the throats of our young women, the pressure to conform to what society thinks a girl/woman should be seems to be worse than ever, even as people take up the mantle to fight these messages and change how a women's worth is found.

I try to lead by example for my step daughter by not putting myself down or equating my importance/worth with how I look, but I know there are times I fail, and my example is only a drop in an ocean of voices she hears on a daily basis telling her how to judge her worth. I ache for her when she comes to me in tears because someone has yet again taken a chunk out of her wall of confidence, because they felt they had the right to judge her worth. Her worth, and the worth of every human being is NOT found in their appearance, but in their personality, their mind, and their heart.

So you rock that hot pink girl. You express yourself with all those bright shades and revel in the joy you feel in all those fun colors. Don't ever let anyone tear you down because you aren't following the latest fashions or beauty trends, because those trends will fade and die, while your beauty will only continue to grow and shine.

Teal eye-liner anyone?